yeah so i haven't posted an entry in awhile.  but why not start again now? exactly.

anyways.  i figured i'd make up a random story again, but incorporate actual events into it.

                                                                         Bubba O'Reiley

me and Carlos were discussing 'alternate' superheroes.  such superheroes include Superbro. he is the alternate version of the superhero most of you know as Superman.  he's different in many ways though.  he can't fly.  he doesn't have super strength.  he can run fast, but not as fast as a speeding bullet.  i'd say he maxes out at 20mph.  he can't leap buildings in a single bound, he usually just takes the elevator actually.  oh also, he's black, that's a big difference.  he does have a secret identity though.  he goes by the name of Martin Luther Malcolm Toby Nelson Mandella-King Jr.  he's a single father (of 3) living in the city known as Harlem.  for some reason trouble pops up there often.  and who is the man they call to help them?  that's right, Superbro.  during the day he's a mild mannered McDonald's employee.  when trouble arises, he runs to the bathroom, and there he makes his transformation into Superbro.  he rips off his Nikes to put on his superhero sneaks, and of course they're reeboks.  he doesn't have laser eyes, but he does have a 45., so that works too.  also his skin is penetrable to bullets, but he wears a bullet-proof vest, so i guess he'll be ok, unless someone shoots him anywhere besides his chest.  also he uses Boost Mobile, i felt that was important. 

that's all for now, more to come.

Reservoir Dogs, directed by Quentin Tarantino, was a movie about a bank robbery gone wrong.  The movie included such cast members as Harvey Keitel (National Treasure and Pulp Fiction), Tim Roth (Planet of the Apes and Pulp Fiction), Michael Madsen (Sin City and Scary Movie 4), and Steve Buscemi (Big Fish and Mr. Deeds).  Like most Tarantino movies, Reservoir Dogs is broken up into segments played in a sporadic order.  the movie starts with Mr. White (Keitel) carrying Mr. Orange (Roth) into an abandoned warehouse.  He places him on the ground, and that's when you notice that Mr. Orange has been shot in the stomach.  The movie goes back to show what exactly happened.  During the robbery, Mr. White (Madsen), goes on a rampage and shoots several people when he learns that the police are on the way.  this sends the group of 6 robbers fleeing in all different directions.  along the way back to their rendezvouz, Mr. Orange gets shot by a pedestrian whose car he was stealing. 

Although this isn't my favorite Tarantino film, it is a really good one, and one of his best.  The reason the subject header above says "Life's great questions" is because every time i see this movie, i'm always reminded of some of the questions one must ask themselves while inhabiting this world.  Questions like "what's the point of life?" or "does God really exist?".  But there is only one question whose answer escapes me.  It is a question that has eluded me for years, and it's time to answer it.  If you have an answer for me, please help me with this. The greatest question i have ever asked myself is....


...Why don't i know more Matthews?

i've been having some issues lately...see if you can help

ok so i'm walking to the store the other night.  see...i need to pick up groceries cuz otherwise Vladamir (my mail-order Russian bride..who turned out to be a MALE-order Russian bride), will get pissed and stop feeding my gerbils.  and if she stops feeding my gerbils, well...i'm fucked, cuz then when they die of starvation, they'll be thin and scant, def. not meaty enough to feed my sister who is currently chained up in my basement with my man-servant Jamal. 

ANYWAY...Vlad says to me..."whatever you do, don't forget the mustard", because that's all Russians eat i guess.  i'm on my way there, and i'm thinking to myself "don't forget the mustard, don't forget the mustard, don't forget the mustard...etc etc".  i'm almost there, just a couple hundred more feet.  i'm walking past a dumpster.  it says BFI on it as most do.  i was always confused as a child, thinking that the dumpsters were really FBI agents with Dyslexia.  back to the story.  as i pass the dumpster, a black midget jumped out of it, baseball bat in hand.  i freaked out cuz of this, and i guess me screaming freaked him out, cuz he then screamed and hit me in the shins with the bat.  he then proceeded to yell "don't nobody fuck with Tony Cox"...i recognized this name from somewhere actually.  that little black bastard was the very same midget who was in Me, Myself, and Irene as the Limo driver.  he was also in The Hebrew Hammer.

well that hurt and all, but it didn't STOP me.  what it did do is effectively make me forget the mustard.  Vlad ended up leaving me and, with no gerbils to eat, my sister and Jamal starved to death. 

anyway, the point of this post is simply to ask, what does BFI stand for?